Sep 12, 2006

Help for Sanjee?

Sanjee needs a helping paw. Actually, what Sanjee needs is a boyfriend. She's been pining away on her blankie on her ironing board, wishing she could find the right guy for a boyfriend.


She was furry honored that Prince Brutus proposed to her, but being as she's 5 and he's not even 1 yet, she was forced to decline. I don't think cats can get married anyways. But she'd sure like a boyfriend to send romantic emails too and stuff. I don't see why she hasn't got a boyfriend anyhow. She's awful purrty and glossy, and she can be really cute and sweet, and she's had all her shots. So since Sanjee's my sisfur, I thought I'd try to help her out.


See how glossy she is? And isn't she cute?

Mom keeps saying "You can always find it on Google." So I sneaked ofur to the puter while Sanjee was napping and googled up "meet the right cat", thinking that would help her out.

I found this one, and it sounded promising. How to Pick the Right Cat for You sounded like it might be just what I needed to help Sanjee, but it was about beans picking out cats. Don't they know that the cats pick the people? Sheesh. No luck there. Choosing the Right Cat was the title of another web page I thought might be good, but again, silly article about beans pickin cats.

So I tried out "meet the right man" instead. After all, she is trying to meet the right man cat.

Then I found 10 New Ways to Meet, Mix, and Mingle with Men. Well, the article wasn't so bad, but it was obviously pretty specisit. Golfing to meet cats? That would never work. Efun tho it wasn't such a bad article, the 10 things didn't seem quite right.

1. VOLUNTEER - Sanjee already does this. She does the Weekend Cat News as a volunteer. It doesn't seem to have helped though. Scratch that idea.
2. TAKE UP GOLFING - Sanjee nefur was into chasing balls around. So I kinda doubt this would do.
3. SIGN UP FOR A BICYCLE TOUR - Sanjee ride a bicycle? They gotta be kidding.
4. ENROLL IN A SELF-IMPROVEMENT WORKSHOP - Sanjee is already cute and glossy and a helpful volunteer and doesn't beg for bean food and doesn't take advantage of kittens or nuthin. What kind of self-improvement would she need?
5. JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP - Sanjee joined Catnip Anonymous already. Didn't work.
6. DO A CHARITY MARATHON - Sanjee run 29 miles??? Are they nuts?
7. HANG OUT AT COFFEE BARS - Sanjee only likes plain water and tuna water. So coffee places are out.
8. CHECK OUT YOUR LOCAL HEALTH STORE - I've nefur seen a cat health store. Have you?
9. CHECK OUT CONVENTIONS - They suggested a Trekkie convention. Sanjee's too skeered of Klingons for that tho. (I can see why.) And why would she want to meet a Ferengi anyways?
10. GO TO A SPORTS BAR ON GAME NIGHT - I'm 'fraid she'd get squashed by the bean guys jumping around and hollering.

So none of those suggestions seemed furry good for Sanjee. Back to Google!

Another site suggested checking out the personals. Google wasn't a whole lot of help here either. (I'm startin to wonder why Mom thinks Google is so great!) I actually found one! Cat Personals! Turns out tho, it was for "Wildcat" fans, beans that graduated from UNH. I found lots of sites for beans looking for beans who like cats. Wrong. Then I found Kitty Personals! I got all hopeful, but that one was for kitties looking for furever homes. Well I'm sure not gonna tell Sanjee to go bring somecat home, so that was out.

I got temp'rarily distracted when I stumbled across this fun page of Feline Haiku by Judy. This one is my favorite
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Hehehe! That almost makes the researchin worth it, efun tho I haven't found anything to help Sanjee yet.

Back to the task at paw, tho.

Googling away, I found this one personal cat ad, and it was a guy cat looking for a girl cat! Sadly, he wanted a slender, exquisite, ginger girl kitty for a companion. That doesn't exactly fit Sanjee for a description. And I found these cat personals (stuck amid dog personals!!!) but there was no contact information. *sigh*

I think I need a nap after all this huntin without findin. Maybe two naps. Do you have any ideas on how to help Sanjee?

~~ Boni
Boni Maroni is not as skinny as macaroni

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